Today would have been the 43rd birthday of my high school sweetheart and one of my dear friends into adulthood, Joshua Rogers. I've missed everything about this man since he left us in 2019...Josh was the real deal in so many ways. And though our love changed from the puppy-love high school days, it never stopped...it just shifted into a beautiful friendship that weathered the changes in both of us as we grew to adulthood.
It's no secret that I and many of my author colleagues start our characters with an idea of a person we know in real life, but then (for me at least), the character becomes their own person, deviating in many ways from their original inspiration. This has happened with every single one of my characters I based off a real person. Every one, that is, but two - and the elven songmaster Julen is one of those two.
The obvious connection between Josh and Julen is their music, which is the entire reason Josh was my initial inspiration. For those of you who were not privileged to know him in life, Josh had one of the most beautiful voices I've ever heard. Strong and nuanced, smooth and versatile. He breathed life into every song he ever sang, whether for a public performance or during one of my favorite memories--when we used to hang out in one of our childhood homes and belt out entire Broadway musicals together.
When I created Julen, the songmaster of Kilynelle in my Ilbeor saga, I immediately drew those parallels and designed him accordingly, also giving him some of Josh's physical characteristics (as much as I could, given Julen is an elf). His mate, Dmeter, is loosely inspired by Josh's husband, David. And David's dog was named after the little pooch Josh and David loved so dearly, Gabi.
That's pretty much where I thought and intended the similarities would end: inspiration, passion for music, true love, and an homage to a dog.
Julen, however: well, Julen is one of those characters who started as a minor tertiary character but, as he developed, he demanded a more prominent place in Alanda's story. And as I gave him his first point-of-view chapter, as I dragged him through Ilbeor and away from the position and place of centuries, he truly came to life in a way only primary characters do. And as he did...well, as he did, I realized how much of Josh I was pouring into him.
Julen's music is magical. I mean that quite literally in the context of my story, for Julen's inspiration does come from the mysterious power that fuels elven magic. But it's also a nod to the way Josh and his listeners were transformed by the music he made, and his own special brand of exceptional human magic in every note.
Julen sees people. When he sings for his community, he always takes the time to look his audience in the eyes, to converse with them, to understand them. And that...well, that was one of the many things I loved about Josh. Josh had this incredibly rare gift for seeing a person for who they were, who they wanted to be. When you were with Josh, you always felt like the most important person in the room, no matter how silly or insignificant what you were saying or doing might have seemed. He took care of people, and his gift for giving and receiving love was amazing, and something I passed into Julen.
Julen cares about his presentation and environment to the point of being fussy about it at times. He dresses meticulously, keeps himself well, and creates environments that combine serene beauty with efficient function. One of the ways he does this is by manipulating the elven lights in his clan's settlement, and that was directly taken from Josh's home: in a time before it became an easy thing to do, he had ambient, color-changing lighting features around his living spaces. It's been too long to remember the particulars, but I do remember how he could manipulate those lights to create whatever kind of mood he wanted...and I remember how very beautiful I found it.
Most importantly, Julen loves fiercely and deeply, and he is unafraid to express that love that lies in the center of his being. Characters who are loved by Julen in the Ilbeor universe are some of the luckiest of my characters, and that will be something that continually develops until the very end of the story. And once again...it's Josh. It's a man who centers around love and the joy that love brings to himself and the ones he cares about. It's a man who will defy tradition and societal norms for that love. It's a man who will protect those he cares about in every way he can, but with an emphasis on emotional protection. And that...more than the music, more than the clothes or environment, more even than the uncanny ability to see people for who they are...that is the Josh I will remember, love, and cherish all my life.
So to Josh, because I believe those who have gone on will never die as long as they're remembered: I love you, and I hope you would enjoy (and laugh at) how I've made you into a magically musical elf in my fantasy universe.
And to those who will never stop loving Josh, especially to his parents Gena and Don, his husband David, and his brothers Jeff and Rich: you are all incredible human beings, and you are all lucky human beings to have loved and been loved by such a person. I know I'm not telling you anything you don't know when I say that. Know that Josh lives on in the minds and hearts of so many...of which this author is only one.
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